Narcissistic Abuse

ByJohn Wuethrich

Narcissistic Abuse

This is a relatively new term in the psych world. Which i find odd as even Freud was writing about narcissists. Perhaps the reason this is taking so long to gain traction is the shift to handing out pills we dont fully understand / ology rather than psychoanalysis. Freud being no stranger to 3 in a house could probably appreciate pharma wanting in. we all know the bernays side rubbed all the elbows he could …wait most people have no idea… I digress. Im not into manufacturing consent so ill leave it up to anyone clueless to hit a txt book or google 😀

My guess is as medicine is a for profit industry (with ethical rot) and the known issue that cluster Bs rarely see themselves as having an issue (therefore wont be coming in or turning a profit for the industry) its more profitable to label people who endure this with the throw of a dart at the dsm and medicate. just a guess. just a probability; my opinion (cynical ) and i rather hope i’m wrong.  

the solution to thought pollution is neuro transmitter dilution? 

Back on topic i have no doubt Narcissistic abuse has happened to people and or destroyed since the beginning of humanity. Im not sure I agree with the name either as from what I can tell its just as likely to be socieopathic. Ill accept it as its pretty much a spot on fit for what i am forced to endure. I also know that as far a cluster B conditions go, most have overlap in traits and or frequently co exist in the same individual.

Most of this will be told through first hand experience. Here is a decent psych today article on the subject and perhaps better here is a source cited write up one it on pscyh central

while  I havent had more than basic college psycho and college sociology I have spent thousands of hours reading on phsych concepts. Its always something that has interested me. I know a few things that even the mass com majors I’ve met haven’t known. For instance the father of modern pr was Sigmund freud’s nephew, Edward Bernays( who actually lived to be 103 and died in 1995). A huge influence in both society and psychology and just about every name still taught today was/is the tavistock institute of human relations. Which is a name I would wager few people have ever heard even though between them and sigmund freuds theorys applied by his nephew, most of the modern world and modern minds have been touched by them. A friend once described me as “able to see how a and b fit and or can be applied, even with out full understanding of either” When I sink myself into something I tend absorb it pretty well on top of that.

Perhaps more important though( even if E.B. wouldn’t agree), anyone is entitled to write on psych and more so their experience with the pathological side of it. If I recall correctly both Jung and Freud were highly motivated/driven to that field by parents with issues. I wouldn’t doubt if Anna was driven by what her dad could account for but didn’t necessarily correct as well. 

Kristen Milsteads Critera/Definition

The following Section comes from a psychcentral article titled “Defining Narcissistic Abuse: The Case for Deception as Abuse” this was one of the better definitions ive seen and I also felt it got to the heart of why its so corrosive toxic and harmful while defining it. 

  • The false reality is constructed through elaborate, covert deception and psychological manipulation over a long period of time.
  • The false perceptions created are of the abuser as someone who has the survivor’s best interests at heart and of the relationship as a beneficial one for the survivor.
  • The goal of the abuse is to allow the narcissist to extract whatever he or she perceives is of value from the partner, including attention, admiration, status, love, sex, money, a place to stay or other resources.
  • The abuser takes advantage of societal norms that assume everyone participates in social relationships with a basic level of empathy, which makes it easy for the abuser to convince the survivor (and everyone else) that no abuse is taking place.  
  • Because the abuse is “hidden” using deception, it is difficult for survivors to recognize, understand, and escape it.

Apply This To States With Mental holds

I know Minnesota, Texas and California Have varios versions of laws where with no need to even consult a judge a citizen can be forced by police into a hospital where the doctor or several is under little supervision, the institution might be making tax payer dollars for holding the person, there is no standard of evidence requirements, In MN it does say i was required to have gotten a form with in an hr of ariving explaining what type of hold and i had to document percise reasons. If that was truly the type of hold my parents rigged. like 4 hrs into that I figured “burocracies love paperwork, there has to be a form.” , “threats to dad, paranoid behavior” was what was listed. Type of hold unclear in writing. Later the officer who aproacthed me saying something like “I have the power to decide if you go in or not but i dicided before i met you (talking to my parents) that you are going in tonight either way” Having never heard of mental holds and still thinking things like probable cause, due process, standards of evidence and my calm and colletected self would matter, I talked to him for about 15min before it devolved to “You can get out of the vehical or i can drag you out” in retrospect I should have chosen option 2. Both sets of emts noted they couldnt see why i was there (i was transfered to mental ward the next day) the doc I eventually asked for the paperwork I also asked “have i been anything but calm and cogent?”, “no, youve been fine but were keeping you longer anyway” she walked through the door to back room of ward. the floor was tile and large air gap allowed me to hear “he uses big words” uttered to a college behind the door. 

neither there nor at the riverside mental ward anyone cared to actually note that I had proof via expert not match box that what was generating the behavior was real and something my parents had been denying for 9 months while destroying 16 years of what i worked for both physical possessions, opertunities and friendships, credit and credibility. 

8 months prior it was ddiscovered by mold pro my parents basement did infact have a problem and the moment he was out the door… my mom pretends to quote him. she had been in the fucking master bedrooom for the entirety of his vist. their house is lit by gas and if you ask them it never flickers even while they are moving the valve in front of you. ‘

the official threat was conditional after they removed a car parking lot of a hotel i was at for no reason other than inspiring the threat. After months of telling me i need to be medicated, they will drive me down town and leave me under a bridge in Minneapolis. if i left the house im up to no good. I stand my ground with what mold guy said and “GET OUT”. 

They Starting two years ago figured out that their sr status, 2 on 1 nature and parental status made it highly likely the cops would not question much. Since then they use the cops and threats of mental hospital again as tools and weapons of terror. I had reason to be paranoid before. the u of m says mold is bad enough if you know its there dont bother, get rid of it ASAP. Epa says over 9×9 ft is pro problem. 

1500 sq ft of carpet and pad, 50 x8 ft of sheetrock and insulation, some studs and the deck from the other side of the wall all that came from… all had to go. they went while dr boris was figuring its unlikely your apt had bugs your parents place had mold. I forgot the vet was pretty sure the parents place had an environmental mite as well. I told him i have documents from the extermination, Emails with the mold guy on my phone. my phone was in a locker 2 rooms down. “patients arnt allwoed phones on the ward” 

empathetic  burn out is a thing, so are rx kickbacks though and knowing my mother has 40 years in the same town in med world i have to count “friend favor” as a possibility as well. I seem to recall she applied at and or had a friend at the first hosptial they took me to. Id say the first is most likely but the fact he added that “im taking out my illness on my elderly parents”… i cant rule out the favor for a friend or friend of friend.

if you want to label that as “they are all out to get me” go fuck yourself and or look out cause you call a otherwise rational person crazy long enough while holding them and resfusing to see actual evidence from the relvant to their field/my claim pros…eventually you will encounter an actually crazy person thats all out to get you. 

the shittiest part about a delusional paranoid skitzo label for something proven to be there… well you basicly abuct them by people that have tazers stunguns and statisticly speaking sometimes get away with shooting a suspect in the back. you drag them to a place they cant leave and know they wont see a judge. the person they do see doesnt need to see evidence  even as you say not “hey check out this match box holding my sample” but “i have documents from the extermination at the apt and emails with mold pro on my phone” he simply refuses but then asserts that theses are delusions… this was like 2 months of not bleeding after 16 of bleeding from this fucking hell. what should have been further evidence it was the mold was the first week in the hotel, gone. naturally my parents then went to “we never saw you bleed” ive got a pic from nearly every week if not several while at their house. 

at the end of the first week i went back because I had ordered a larger drive for the laptop I was using to remotely set up a businesses/clients web server. My workstation rig was at that point in their basement and had cloning software. next day I was right back to bleeding from corners of eye/serious eye irritation only for it to be gone and stay gone a day later up till the mental ward. 

Bare With Me & Some Back Story

this is a work in progress. I may be homeless soon so it may never be complete. I need it out here because If i end up in either police or medical custody I know for a fact myself or anyone else isnt in a good mindset or fully capable of putting a cogent argument or the argument they otherwise could have amassed together.

The nature of this abuse leave ones head spinning so in an attempt to right that and to get this out in the open im going to type and attempt logical orginization later. that may only be so possilbe because the end goal of the person commiting it is leaving the target in an infantile state/ the things they do are illogical and layered. so how to organize chaos? ill try.  bare with me though. 

The first and only time i’ve been in a psych ward was due to their lies. the treatment by the doctor who in which we have invested authority generally reserved for courts and police was absolutely sickening. I had documents and the video of the extermination at my last apt, I had emails with the mold guy my parents hired. I had bleed for 16 months between the two places. We had found mold in one place as i lost the lease and had to move out. It was right across from washer and dryer stack. When Cosmos Cat (at their house) got sick I would travel down to their place at night often sleep on basment floor next to him then drive back up to my apt in the morning. generally the first thing i did was drop my clothes right where we found the mold on move out. I had been diagnosed with subrihic dermatitus by the first dermatologist. Had scabbies and several urgent care docs had thought so.

Infront of the pshcologist (see drug pusher) I knew what delusionsal parasitosis was, I knew what match box syndrom was. I explicitly decided to not mention I had photos and video of the extermination and issues. I did this because I knew what i just said and because I had as hard as evidence gets… I had the relevant professionals confirmation that these things were real, I had it on my google drive and my gmail. I said this and that I can show him with access to my phone. 

“Patients arnt allowed phones on the ward” followed by “paranoid skitzo for delusions of mold and bugs and taking it out on your elderly parents” 

When you are free to deny other relevant professionals at will, while holding and potentially druging a person…. Whos more delusional here? Dsm criteria is two episodes of delusional or paranoid thought lasting 6 months or longer. if you can say things proven to be there are delusions and then label not trusting the parents who gas lit as paranoid… you can really fuck a person over. When the org you work for and or you personaly decide to wear first name only bages (probably decided in an effort to protect them) and have no oversight or fear of repremind for alomst anything you decide while having the power to imprision and drug someone and also take steps to ensure you are harder to find…  

this should all raise a lot of ethical questions. I cant say i know for sure as far as psychologists go, but i do know its common in the med industry for pharma to give docks a fininacial “kick back” for every script of [insert med here] they write. This should further complicate any discussion of if this med hold shit should be done at all or can even be done ethicly but this isnt what I started out to write about today. 

my experiance with dr. Kholomyansky was just was just relevant for explaining why I felt so compeled to have some of what im going through universialy accessible. For all i know he had no idea what two factor authent was and or factored that into the “paranoid” part of the decision he made. If i recall correctly after mentioning I had professional conformation on google drive im pretty sure i tacked on that I had 2FA enabled so it kind of required my phone.

2FA is about the best thing anyone can do for security of any account and when you think it through esential for email. why? how many of your more important accounts allow a password reset link to be sent to your  inbox? see the issue? 2FA is a code that changes every 60 seconds that one must type in adition to a password. I was using the google authenticator app to generate codes at the time, that was on my phone. In theory it works because even if I watch you type your password, 60 seconds later I still cant log in because the code has changed and in this scenario id need ur phone for the new one.  but enough off topic. 

Others Arnt People, They know all and best

Narcissistic Abuse 1

Having a single parent with a personality disorder would be bad enough, with both a kid has very little chance. Though I cant say for certian both my parents are full blown cluster b [insert specific here]… Id normally say id bet my life on it is how certain i am. Issue is, its being bet for me, but if you ask them:

“hes sick in the head” (overheard while they talked to police)

 

I have my mom recorded laughing off the diagnosis their lies got me and saying

“but in my professional, medical opinion, you are to angry and need to be medicated anyway” 

if you know medicine you know that shes tiptoeing the line of a huge ethics violation. ie you dont diagnose or treat family members. ( due to the influence on logic that the emotional bond (or uh… supply damange?) can create. )

Im aware of this because she also taught nursing at the college of st Catherines. around the year 2000 she could barely turn on a computer and the overhead projector was on the way out. Guess who made the power points she taught with? 

Oddly enough I once met a girl going for her phd in genetics that tried to sell me on the idea that 99 percent of the time being an NP is indication that some sort of anti psychotic is in ones interest. 

Other things said:

im doing it to myself or they arnt doing antything at all. Except for the rare times:

 “its because you are weird” , 

” because you were disrespectful”

 “I need control because i want control”

“i own you”

” i bought you”

“nothing you do has any value”

:”ill do worse than false police reports” 

” I decide what hurts you”

“were the same person”

“you took my time with my husband im going to make you suffer” (while i needed to be at my apt but my dad was holding my keys after offering me a day away from what we thought was from the apt

“you screwed up you live here now and Im your landlord” (Marlene Wuethrich)

the moment they waanted anything done on the computer it was suposed to come first/drop anything i was doing. but after I leave to a hotel… all my stuff is theirs and if they dont want me here i cant come back

“your problems are boring and take too long”,

 “whaaa my eyes hurt!”(my mom mocking)”

“ill do worse than false police reports”

“you know i wont be around much longer”

“are you going to cry about it? get over it! you know you love me john, SAY IT” with i

one day same convo the reminding me he was going to die soon and the three under it were all said with in 10 min. 

“I cant talk to you right now im driving and have to think about taking a shit”

“l just dont like listening to you very much” (how do you possibly think you can control anyones life at all let alone when you have no desire to listen or pay attention?)

Narcissistic Abuse 2

“health is going to the doctor and demanding pills like i have” (Paul Wuethrich) “

Dad food effects mood, emotional regulation, energy levels and mortality rates…if you need to see that its easy to find if you search diet and cancer” 

“we arnt talking cancer” 

What we were talking was at the time it had been 2 years since I had a kitchen and he cooks/helps cook/eats home cooked meals every day. 

3 years no kitchen eating takeout/fast food and kwicktrip diet and for 2 years stressed to point I see stars due to bp 2x a week… if the mental ward had any redeeming value its lost in this incest force contact bs. I know from regular bp checks and knew from how hard i was running when this started I need to be able to focus on my health. Life is a series of opertunity costs. When somone can take away the value of time you sunk right before completion its a fucking disaster. 

I had a regular interval bp check on the river side ward shortly after calling my dad on the land lin iirc systolic was pushing 180. but hey if my dad says he decides what hurts me. fucking sick bastard. 

Instead all the 60 to 100 hr weeks just to hear I’ve never worked at all then “enough” while everything of mine is destroyed.  hearing even LEOs either deflect with or buy into my parents shit and parot the “why cant you care for yourself”, “why cant you manager your finances”

among other questions my parents refuse to acknowledge ive been asking is “was grandpa on moms side diabetic” . They literlly held my bike in front of me last summer before taking it back in their garage. It couldnt get any more lethal school yard bully fucking ASPD than this, unless oh yeah… my dad straight up told me he has no conscience one night. 

Narcissistic Abuse 3
Authentic Curry I used to be able to make with out even looking at instructions. This shot was when i first tried it on my own normally/later id slice the onions a bit diff. Its I know its authentic because i learned it from an exchange student going for his phd in civil engineering at ndsu. though i usually subsitute oil for ghee. .

Narcissistic Abuse 4

“why are you telling everyone how i am? and you are telling everyone. everyone who knows me already knows who i am” which to me is an attempt to frighten an admission and a wrapped up “STOP DAMAGING MY IMAGE” because the bit in the middle was unnecessary if it didnt bother him, but easily confused with trying to sound like he knows all and doesnt care. When in reality/the past having a raised voice in the garage was cause to shut the garage door so neighbors didn’t think there was trouble in paradise. 

“John, you have to understand I do what i want when i want” (both Marlene and Paul Wuethrich in several variations tones etc)

this also apears to mean if they want to later say they didnt say something or do somthing, they will try to enforce that by saying it didnt happen and or maintiang that lie repetitively.

If they say something was or wasnt done by me at any point they also expect me to accept that as my reality.

An Empty Cell

if youve moved before, think about that first week or first two weeks/first month maybe. where you first have nothing then trip over everything while you work out where it goes. Now imagine it for a year.

My kichen is in a storage garage they picked 2 years ago. its packed to the celing and god knows what is or isnt growing but two main points. 1) I probably had some poeopel willing to inject cash/was going to file an official llc and needed an inventory of assets 2) I knew I couldnt bring everything to their place and mihgt have to walk through it regardless of biz or not

these summed up to my objection from the start over the size of that garage. In all I was only there 3 times. I have no idea where it is. I get told its going away if i dont do xyz but the question of the fucking address? even when explicity asked for a month… nope.

to compound things  really takes two people to not risk injury with how tight and high its packed.  It also takes a truck. For the 9 or 10 months with mold car it was out of the question even trying to cram stuff in but regardless I didnt have the person or the address. That hasnt stoped them from threatening to get rid of it. 

The whole time i had been hearing from my dad that another place will happen imedealy. Till i actually get there and nope cant do it. 

As for while I was at their place cant stop mom from hiding, destroying throwing in known moldy basment, out in snow generally treating my stuff and others like absolute trash while denying and gaslighting the mold guys findings for 4-6  months before I punched even one hole in Sheetrock. 

Then they pick this place, cram me in it with just poor clyde and a bed. but not before snow blows through the vents on the car that was mine in use but not title.

As for the stuff they prommised to replace, before and after cops telling me “you’ll be arested if you try to contact them again or show up here” like + or – 2 days and every time before and or after the empty is my fault because i wouldnt get in mold car, go to store they said the name of once and wouldnt repeat, pick out a couch and then call them with the model number so they could then order it. I know I paid for the ikea dresser ive had for the 10 years prior as well but… ive gone this entire year with 1 half height and 2 full height walmart folding tables. I hauled in $600 in wire shelving as to the plan in the garage. As they grace me with my things I was supposed to find the time and money to clean them after re mediating the car.

What fun is owning him if he knows people?

wanting me to or telling me things to encourage me to comunicate time tables to others, then not following through on their end has been a recurrent theme. heres a prime example:

I was told I would have help unpacking the garage i still dont know the address to a year later. They used this as an acto of sabotage. I could see through it at the time. I should have just lied and said yeah i did that hes fine. I had an associate named tobby. I set up processes and orginization/tracking while doing phone and computer repair at a shop I was trying to get off the ground. Tobby responded to a help wanted on craigslist. I didnt know him well but him and his brother had helped move a lot of stuff up one day to the 3rd floor of my apt at the time. Tobby seemed about as bright as I was at that age in IT matters. Well as most people cant understand , my paernts goal isnt me independent or quickly. But most think parents wouldnt do that and the wrenches they throw in only add to the doubt as time extends. But its deeper than that here. My dad promisses to hire tobby to help me move but only on the condition that I check the price first. 

“ASK HIM IF 16 an hr is ok” to which a rediculous fucking shit storm of my dad wouldnt take “im sure tobby will be ok with that” 

“ASK HIM”

so like a brow beat idiot I do. Of course my dad makes it take 3 weeks till we can discuss this again, then im already in new empt cell they picked. 

“16 is too much you have to see if he will do 14”

Tobbie had been telling me he recived more than one call from my dad in the year prior. the things he indicated he was told, I cant be sure are true. The thing is, the phrasing Tobbie used and topics he brought up “johns sick in the head since I had an operation in 2004” or along those lines (its been a while now). I conclude theres a fairly good chance this happened. 

Tobbie was a highschool sr while this was going down. He wanted to interview me for his biz management elective project and of course springs this on me the night its due. Clyde had died about a week before.

I went to get food promising to call tobby back. my dad calls inbetween and is wanting to know why im not reporting more progress… despite he was demanding I look shady then ignored the second offer/wouldnt put his money where his mouth was after having me ask 2x for no reason.

why is the car taking so long? he knew Clyde had died. 

“dad can you fucking think of any reason I wouldnt be running at 100%?”

“I can probably list off 100 of your problems but im not gonna HOP around all night” I listened to the recording about 10x the day after, there is no mistaking the emphasis. 

I stared into the darkness for probably an hr and a half and never returned Tobbies call. 

2 years ago it struck me, Money Doesnt matter if it supports their image and keeps me in hell

 

then once while I was hungry for 3 days, they call me every day taunting and my dad goes off on why dont you buy food on credit? knowing my credit has been tourched  and knowing that due to fact they dont show anywhere near this side of themselves my address for importnat stuff has been their place since 2006 (only a little bit when I lived there between fargo and st cloud then standofish and slowly worked back in while I was too busy to remember what happened)

for banking its usually not an issue except when a new card is sent. I went mostly paperless. In this case while 3 days hungry and hes saying that and my moms trying to justify how because she wanted to take all my stuff for their mold “get over it and go to food shelf” which also requires a kitchen I dont have (i used to).

I tried to be candid instead of blowing up for a point, practiced I statements, “I feel like a slave” 

“what was that last word?” 

dad nothing I could say or do is more disrespectful that destroying me so you have something for attention. eitehr from me or the attention you get from the stories you spin. I address you more often because you seemed like more was there in the past. 

I drive down to their house about an hr after that call.  I never left the public road or exited the car, just sitting on the street and of course here comes mgpd.  

I tried to explain to probably the second worse officer ive met on that force (3 have been upstanding most neutral) (in the off chance any of you are reading this im sorry I called one of you by the wrong name on the previous encounter, your actions and general demeanor  give me some hope and or trust)

I’m sitting there 3 days hungry and the officer who approached had been inside already or went inside? i have the audio recorded ill have to listen again. Early on he asserts though that I “am living quite the life off of them” (im sitting there 3 days hungry) I tried to expalin they will tell him anything some of it might be ttrue but context is often skewed. flat out said they have repeatedtly told me things like “i own you” I think he went in again because what i know for sure with out checking is he at one point says “your dad says he didnt ever say he owns you” ( well gee i didnt do what ever crime officer i suppose we should go to calli and bust the turpins out too) 

he progressed to saying “I care about the mold” so i pull a pic of the car i was forced to remediate and “I DIDNT SEE THAT, PUT THE PHONE DOWN ” 

the biggest issue here is all the personal judgement that went into his interaction. to error is human and if you read above what im experiancing, the two purpotrating the threats to my life and generally abhorent conditions…. they use those perceptions to make you a tool. but in general if you can apply any level of force to someone with little fear of more than being put on paid leave or asked to resign… I find it in pretty bad taste to asert things like “you’re living the life off them”.

it adds alot to the terror besides being unprofessional. along those lines, I might test… if i send an envelope of mold to an elected official, will you care about the mold then ? but not when under threat of destroying everything i own while leaving me homeless and forcing me to clean their car? maybe we will find out. some strains are clasified as bio weapons. if i recall correctly some of the white powder in the mail years ago was begine stuff like baking soda. My parents have set this up so they can keep giving me back the problem they a year ago paid to be rid of. a problem that presents risk to health and that theyget me declared crazy for while paying to have it removed… then force me to deal with in their car for a year …. an you dont care? i dont want to test this I dont want to hurt anyone, I fear for my life every day though and thats one of the least derastic options I can see. 

back on track/that encounter:

all the sudden hes asking why i dont have my card. did i drive down here with out a card. I would have to listen to the recording to anazlize specific phrasing to have a chance at deducing what my parents would have said to trigger it (maybe the risk of being on the road 0 money, maybe claimed i stole a card why he was even bringging the convo there is a bit bizare) one thing that isnt was while taunting me over being hungry just 2 hrs before than hanging up, my dad was subblte rubbing in that they have even my credit card. When I dont know something for a fact I try to think in probabliity. I see very low probablity that my parents didnt plant/force that part of the convo and if you consider that in context you begin to see just how big of a tool and or terror tool you become if you/the force becomes any time you take their word at face value. 

you dont have to look far in a psych journal or even the geieva convention for what isolation, with holding food and trying to enforce blatent lies as anothers reality is condidered and or what it does to a persons mind let alone body. 

that officer if i recall correctly asked if theres any meds im suposed to be taking. note that this was after I drove down ready to present the recorded calls where my parents admit the motivation for the mental hold and that the dv report was backward. after being told the force faces liablity for even documenting that my parents are unreliable whitenesses” …

I was told by an advisor at the state bar hotline to comunicate that to the police so i tried. note the vary act shows how hard im trying to look out form myself and my future. I also called riverside to request the files they have on me and not even the release form showed up. truth of the matter is i dont know what the medical oppinion is with out those docs. even more to the point, when the doc said paranoid skitzo he added on “for delusions of mold and bugs” or more to the point get fucked i wouldnt take it if i knew but i dont know. 

there are so many failures first in legislation then in judgment that went into this. I have two terrorists atempting to rule my life and running it into the ground while claiming to own me like property and what i was told while meeting with that force after having called the state bar can be summed up as 1) our asses over yours 2) your parents are more likely to have the money to ensure its our ass over theirs so tough luck.

what no one will change about me is if you wear that badge and are deserving of the power and protection that comes with it, you have to accept the responsibility for each of your actions and words. Instead what I see is people covering their own ass while ignoring someone has 16 years of assets i worked for is forcing risk to life and or limb and paying for an empty cell to confine me in. As i hear assertions “im living the life” i contiune to act respectfully and complient and that probably wont change but when you are due to shady law able to put someone in custody for their own good… probably stop to think about how much of that poential break down you are adding to by unwillingness to account for your actions in the matter.  it was the terpin family or another that had a 29 year old male among the “kids” the news reported. I remember reading a few months ago that he was let out daily to attend community college. between hearing “you never worked, nhothing you do works” and other blatent lies while stuck at thier house “you need to live under my supervision and pick out a community college major” … 

as I said to that particular officer “if slavery was legal are you going to tell me it wouldnt cost to feed and house them?” remember above i stated he assured me “im living the life off them” … he flat out said “im not going to entertain this conversation” 

as long as im on the police involvment portion though one last thing. Things said on calls have pretty much verbatim indicated that my family was and or still is part of the daily brief.  this was during a period where I was actually in that town proabably less than once a month on average. This leaves me seriously questioning how many times its reported otherwise and how seriously thats taken. When this started I was 29 with only speeding tickets. What pulls up with my name now? how is this at all justice if each database entry skews future encounters and they are taken verbatim while if I claim to have the recordings of phone calls saying otherwise… in a state thats single party consent to record, I present something that should cause reasonable doubt or indicate you might be being used as a tool to harm… we cant add that? how long do these records last ? for the rest of my life I would bet. I havent read much since they were created but i recall “fusion centers” post 911, so id have to assume that if it doesnt already that some time in the years to come all of this will pull up regardless of state. I hope im wrong im not saying i know any of that but reasonable and typically rational people sometimes reason. 

Narcissistic Abuse 5
This was my highschool bedroom. Upon moving back eventually sleeping on basment couch wasnt enough. i was told i have to sleep in here. Then its some mystery as to why I got it the worst between denying anythings there at all.

Games That would terify James.

If you arnt from Minnesota and reading this, James by James is store selling board games and kids toys (pretty sure its mn only). 

after like 6 months pretending not to know a txt was. as i type this the last I spoke to my dad was maybe 5 days ago and Im suposed to txt him. he hasnt replied or answered the phone but the voice mail changes. ie does it ring 4x or 1x.they have figgured 3 different ways to rig the home phone, it rings till it disconnects, rings to a full vm, sometimes a vzw error message. remember above everything is my fault for not simply cdalling them? that also involves storing the info i have to conuminicate for an arbitrary length of time because they wont acknowlege any form of comunication and most the time add on to lies tolld to avoid comunication.usualy redefining the past as to why my situation is my fault. Ill send pics showing i did xyz or had xyz they never get acknowledgeed “hold on ill hang up and check the messages and call you back” when ive srent the same txt for sometimes a year and heard that for a month. “i dont know what a txt is, is that like email?”, “i just dont get your txts idk why”, “oh it apears I had you blocked”

sometimes I lose it and saythings like ” If you dont stop this sick shit im going to break your knees and hold your arm in the garbage disposal” via txt. 

ive literaly heard him sandwitch “YOURE THREATENING ME, GONNA BREAK MY ARMS” between trying to convince me he doesnt know what a txt is and or he doesnt get mine. 

early on he was worse about how estatic threats made his incest perv ass. The happyness of “oohh something for power over you” is still hiding in the corners of faux anger but he makes an effort to sound mad. Also like i said above, clips the condition and insists hes not doing anything im just a mad man. 

The will both play the incredibly vague language game while every iota of wha ti say needs to be prercise or all the sudden ive spent 30 min explaining primary colors are not plad to someone pretending to be the adult child on the short bus. often just to have them confuse it again in an effort to lead in circles. 

nothing and always are not healthy ways to describe a person but im not describing a healthy person. the size of mistake my dad owned up to is like once in the first week they are yelling at me to go to bed. I said “i didnt come here cause i screweed up, you said id be geting an apt again right away you said you knew these projects were important but here you are instead treating me like  a 12 year old with a bed time”

to his credit he did say “youre right” or along those lines. more recently when asked why a year later im not even close to dealing with problems he paid to eliminate at his house a year before… he pretended to quietly say an empty sorry, 2 days later he refered to the convo as “im threatening him and screaming profanities in the parking lot”

there were a few profanities involved but judge for yourself. I think it was pretty reasonable and regardless, to say it then, nothing changes and then backhandedly …

in the early years of my life up till this event Id describe them to others as kinda backwards, I was the emotional support and supposed to be the little adult. Now im dealing with full on todlers who use the police and med system like a full auto for looking at them wrong. 

While i was working 60-100 hrs a week at two jobs starting with a concussion im geting calls every other day to work harder. when I brought up how bad that is during a concusion and the most important thing is rest, “its your fault you wouldnt go to the doctor” well gee dad, between 60 to 100 hrs a week… plus the external unasked for input of work more… then the fact that you guys sat on my fucking tax return for 4 months. the only day i took off during that period was going to Johnnys funeral (his side of fam)

Everything I made during that period went into tools that now rot in their third garage stall. I’ve had 2 brief opportunities to grab stuff. It strikes me as odd that though the police were there both times and parents did nothing to say “no that isnt yours” when my parents then decide that I get it all at once or not at all and or its theirs the cops are telling me the only option is to go through the family court thing in mpls. well yeah thats not great at all but the car is theirs two and they are constantly threatening to get rid of the stuff and pllacing demands on me so that doesnt happen. They control my time, picked that im 2 hrs from where i need to go to follow that, 2 years over due for a dental operation and blowing out stringy black shit after working on that car for 9 or 10 months. As i alluded to despite paying for the apt , im virtually being held hostage. IE it costs money to keep a slave alive. 

the smallest misstep against them even if perceived and an ego slight is nuclear in retaliation yet they claim to define what hurts me therefor never have. Not only will they push a blatant lie about what they did or said, even if I state “i have it recorded” the responce is “so what” and ill hear the lie again sometimes 2 min later. Or at one point in this call https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TEzbu_oieX8 “fuck your recordings” and ill hear the lie again

its like a game and at one point last year my dad thinks ive hung up and I hear him laughing to my mom about how pissed he got me. 

i can even name the games:

How many times can i make my dog speak what/re explain things i know.  A few times while i call him on this “IM NOT PLAYING GAMES” then “SAY IT” most obvious example was when they took the mold car back i left a power invetrter among other things. sometimes 3x over and over and on the next call “i cant find it unless i know what color it is ” hes bought 2 i know of in the past. a power inverter has a 12v/lighter plug on one end and a house hold wall outlet on other. its not something easy to confuse. I told him its red the first 5 times and several calls and txts.

“I cant find it for you unless i know if its a red inverter what color is it?” 

“dad stop, this shit is nasty”

“SAY IT” this time or the call after he then needed the exact dimensions. 

another is “list the ways i hurt you” then he says “i didnt do any of that ” hangs up. 

in the call i linked/posted above the literal todler responce “no im not you are” is employed. that one happens all the time. as up there i try to bat it down with “how?” I didnt give him much time to answer that but if he wanted to he could have. his goal isnt a good resolution or comunication. i cant know anothers motivation 100% but ive seen enough to know that thinking otherwise would be foolish. several times if not most i do wait for an answer. 

if he doesnt want to adress something he likes two games: sit silent change the topic, sit silent for arbitrary period then hang up. 

both play games like pretend not to know a detail as reason something is undoable or has to be their way, make me explain it indepth only to have them change the topic. 

my mom once made me go in circles explaining moisture bad for electronics and then the nurse practitioner with a masters said “ok ill put a humidifier in the garage” before hanging up. 

while they were holding even my bike last summer and commanding my time as they still do, she says “i know the most important thing for recovery from a loss is sense of purpose” then in a more recent call says “i know your depressed” she will act like she cares but inbetween is preventing anything healthy and forcing risk. destroying things i worked for and they both set traps like on xmas where last i talked to them was probably 5 days before. I show up and find an open garage door but stay on public property in my car. My aunt comes out and leaves (no dl) my cusion comes out and passive agressivly trys to assert im being agressive. likely they had already called the police and this was an attempt to have me screaming when cops showed up. 

the officers that responded seemed to have gotten the story i was on their property causing a massiveness scene and refusing to leave though i was told several times. The only person i had talked to that day way my cousion when he came out and he infact never even said leave. He then said later I made his kids feel unsafe but it occures to me, last time i saw his kids they were walking my rabbits on a leash outside or the xmas before petting them on the couch, that and with the car i was in not known to be mine plus the only thing i did was turn the music up and roll the window facing the open garage door down… any scared they got and specificly of me …only happened by what the rest of the family said if it happened at all. mark is into clasic rock, i sincearly doubt loud rock through a door and probably 60 yards coming from one rolled window and a factory sound system… shutting the garage door would have likely made it inaudible. as he walked back in and right before the police rolled up he left with two middle fingers and “fuck your recordings” 

I really respect the officer that showed up that night for withholding personal opinion and trying to get to the bottom of it rather than acting on assumption.

this is a playlist. I didnt record continuously due to memory/storage being near full but the only parts missing were sitting in the car trying to call the home number to no avail.  

knowning they decided my stuff went in known molldy basement. knowing the mold was a decision they made on finishing their basement in 01, when he admits to it at all “theres no mold here anymore” ive sent pics of it on what i have goten back 100 times. hes stated that he knows the apt and garage he picked for me are too small for my stuff and even knowing i have to move every fucking time

“ok ill get a truck and dump it all in your garage tomorrow” 

Mostiure alone hurts most of this stuff. 3x ive bought desicant beads over 2 years while telling them moisture alone will harm my things. not once have i been allowed to even add them to the containers. 

Mean while I punch a dent in his passanger side door after he shoves me across the room. 2 weeks later the 2 person house hold takes the car i had permission to use from the hotel lot at a hotel they picked. stranding me. its a 4 car household with out that, for 2 people or was at the time. I have recorded admissions my dad did it to get back at me for the punch to his car door. It resulted in a medical record that could endanger my life. but no my conditonal stop fucking hurting me or else threats are of more concern while im being told i live the life off of them. 

Narcissistic Abuse 6
My Oscilloscope after their house, their basement then their garage. The top is even nastier I hesitate to turn it on. this pic just with out a question convayed the point so its the one i used.

It should also be known its not like i sit here fuming all the time. It took 3 or 4 months to get back the respirator I already owned and the glasses adapter (im blind as a bat) while im suposed to be re mediating the car.

The two videos bellow were sent to a friend in melasia before I headed down to the garage to try to take the headliner out of the car. I’m in an apt building where i know no one and about to walk down to the garage in a white tyvec suit and full face mask respirator. the wow i probably look like a freak and or out of place is spun off as a fictional what to say meeting the new neighbors joke. (second one didnt upload so heres one for now) the next line was “you look at them and dead pan: what they didnt give you one?” Im pretty easy going, most of the time.

if you only see me on days they are playing sick fucking games you might get a different idea. If i didnt have the sense of humor and half a brain i do, i doubt all the above parties would be here (myself included ) at this moment. 

https://youtu.be/9QKG9yg8kKM
Narcissistic Abuse 7

My dad has been able to text/sms for over 16 years. They got me the medical hold via printing a sheet of 8×11 of our txt convo. no idea if it was modified or if police printed it/they did. no idea if forensics software was used if the police did it. (forensics software would at least attempt to alert if and or recover delteted/altered portions of the record) even an intact but chosen and miss framed (context wise) expert is a pretty fucking rediculous reason for police to surround you in a hotel lot and start the convo with ” I have the power to decide if i take you in or not but I decided before I met you you are going”…  i digress

point is theres documented proof my dad knows what a txt msg is and how to txt. 

yet for the past maybe 6 months i constantly have him tellling me “I dont know what a txt is, is that like email?where is it?”

“did you email it to me? do it i dont know what a txt is” he doesnt respond to any emails even when requested either… I have delivery reports turned on and know hes getting them.

ocasilnally i can beat that down and the lie shifts to ” for some reason i dont get your txts” then “oh i guess i have you blocked”  

meanwhile if he wants something all the suden i get a txt. im in an empty apt because on moving out of my last one they picked a storage garage and my expsensive stuff went to their house. while i was geting diagnosed for real mold they were having actually professionally remediated they put my stuff mostly in the un humidity or temp controlled 3rd garage stall where it remains a year later. I frequently ask for the address to the storage garage they picked…wont acknowledge it. 

they have how ever threatedned to get rid of it and my things at their house unless I clean the moldy car they stuck me with.  Its not that I want them in my life. most of what they are doing though and this level of nasty has only been shown while they are in a position of full power over 16 years of things ive earned and everything ive ever considered mine.  im off topic again.

my dad during the hotel period also txted a pic of my bonnie rabbits ashes after opening the us mail they were delivered in. I had asked for jus ta day where he didnt do something to try to raise my anxiety. so he opens my mail and sends me a pic of…

and to this day either directly trys to enforce he doesnt know what a txt is and has a list of lies to fall back and circle on (and her ashes and their(bonny and Clyde’s fav toy)  several times while refusing to acknowlege that im requesting their toy to have something of theirs to help greive with, to hold to feel close to them…. I hear “ALL YOU EVER WANT OR SEE ME AS IS A WALLET AND MONEY” which initself is layers of sick because they also sabotage directly or create conditions where holding a job isnt possible. Some of the things growing rust and mold in their garage were paid for by others. others who would have paid the labor of creating or fixing the device, and one project had both its fiancier and another friend with corp jobs telling me “i think i can get you in the door” (at their respective companies) by using the project. We are talking start of career 60 – 100k a year possitions.

Its taken me a long time to learn how to judge true friends from people trying to play /exploit. the best way ive found is do they/what do they give when they have nothing to gain? The guy the project was for had hosted me at his house in Cali 2x and one time was with my french friend.  the other friend was from high school and stood nothing to gain by telling me that. both are in California im in Minnesota.  Clearly the friend who the project was for had in the past been generous with no expectation on benefiting from it. I fucking hate not being able to make good on my word and espicailly to someone whos been good to me that i believe truly wanted to give me a leg up. It was my decision he not pay labor till delivery of the project. 

but my mom who cant name the title of these projects first assured me 

“you made up the mold and bugs because you lacked the technical ability”

the bugs were long proven at that point…. so i prove every aspect of the project for Will in california and the sub project worked, while working first to clean a room in their then confirmed moldy basement hearing im delusional and they are gonna lock me in a mental ward or leave me under a fucking bridge in Minneapolis. 

my dad bans me from making the battery pack while at their home, while my mom is hiding and throwing away parts Will paid for to ensure i cant complete the rest of it let alone leave the updstairs floor work space ( I eventually moved to for attempting to finish them. ) with out having to spend 30 min looking and maybe finding every part and then again the next day when it somehow moved itself to the trash or across the house and down the stairs. while the reason im bleeding then becomes and why i cant finish the project  

“youre on drugs!” and a 6 months into them holding the tools parts/everything mine and or others. storing in destructive condtions

“your projects are all worthless anyway” then maybe 2 months ago “its been so long does he even want them anymore”… fuck you mom you are a sick bitch. last time i told her fuck you while she was saying “theres no mold cause im your mom and say so ” despite she wasnt with the mold guy, i was by his side… she took it as an opertunity to start talking about her sex life. this was during a period where if i left their house once a week for any amount of time i was up to no good. if i didnt say a word and left the room i eventually talked my way into upstairs… i didnt have to say a thing or make eyecontact she would attack. If i refused their gaslighting what the mold guy found im eventually told to “get out”. 

when clyde died she says “i know the most important thing after loss is having purpose” as im being threatened to lose all my things if i dont remediate the car that she drove to the nicu for 9 years or parked in the attached garage.  I eventually realized that Childrens hospital in st paul mn might not like or might be ethicly forced to fire her to show they acted as soon as aware… if say they got an email with pics of that car and a link to a journal article where other orgs are concerned with fungus and mold spores even on patients clothing. that ended 9 or 10 months of doing a job i told them I might not be able to do here, this is the most expensive and dangrous way to get it done (having me do it) and budget wouldnt meet estimate so id starve up to 4 days 2x and shorter periods inbetweeen. 

i was on txts though. heres the threat that likely got me the mental hold. I went downstairs from the hotel room having worked on a remote webserver from waking till 4pm. I found no car. Im hungry as hell but still reason…nope this is something they would do,the start of it /just off screen i asked “do you have it” 

all threats made at that point and many if not most since (all in intent or context not always explicit statement though) have been conditional. Like im covered in wounds at one point to extent im scared im going to lose a limb while they gaslight the cause and after hours of hearing the mold is in my head despite mold pro saying otherwise… 

“if i lose a fucking limb im going to take two of yours off” …. his favorite game is LETS PRETENT CONTEXT ISNT A THING! followed by how many times can i make him repeate somthing cause arbitrarly making him submit for some incest reason seems to please Paul Wuethrich. 

ancestory.com has this to say:

German (Wüthrich): unflattering nickname for a tyrannical person, Middle High German wüetrich ‘tyrant’.

ugh… I really should have seen it in the way he worded that responce. 

again “did you take it?” and or “i cant eat, ive worked all day do you have it…” ill try to find the txt log i have, i just had this screenshot from showing someone else months ago. 

 when u understand his game he is esentailly sayijng “are you done talking shit and chanlanging my right to define reality for you?”

also note how many signs there was more going on are present even there… and what do you all think the likely hood that the uber dirver would have been ok with me walking out with a sledge hammer and saying yo homes to bel air… on a thurs evning 

Narcissistic Abuse 8
Narcissistic Abuse 9

Narcissistic Abuse 10
the lockness monster, or a frantic pic trying to capture the snow blowing out the vents, you be the judge.

The insidious thing I’ve noticed about people with cluster B personality disorders is if they are at all functioning they at some point realized what parts of themselves they must mask. Im not a psych major/have no degree but I have always had an intrest in psych. I’ve traveled a lot and through that and everyday life met thousands of people. Of those people i’ve been pretty sure that 3 of them were borderline, 2 of them were already diagnosed when I figured a way to ask. One was diagnosed a month later. Im not perfect nor do I go looking for it as if everyone else has a problem. I tend to think the wold would be a better place and kids being raised will do better in school and life if everyone focuses in day to day interactions on building each other up and I try to apply this to “be the change one wants to see”. Its taken a long time to realize that I was probably raised by two parents with personality disorders and might die by and before them because of it. 

The prime mode of abuse I encounter(ed and continuing) is Narcissistic in nature and the insidious of this is profound and multi fold. CORROSIVE, life threatening and soul destroying is how i would describe it. 

A main feature is the abuser not only lies but attempts to redefine the reality, past and present of their target with their lies. While doing so will often lie seemingly just in an attempt to debase and if at all skilled will layer lies on lies on lies. When talking with my mom or dad there is usually more lies, dog whisteling and layers of confusion than I can decode even the second time round listening to a recording. this is usually combined with the second favorite of almost every cluster b afflicted person, cold shouldering people.  

A good example of this is how for the last four months I’ve requested they forward my mncare health care renewal packet to my apt and or notify me when they get it that its coming. A reasonable enough request right?

txt after txt goes unanswered. I’ll create auto senders to make sure specific things they ended up in control of are communicated every day. just to have it fall on def ears. About 2 weeks ago (as of typing this) my dad the first night says mn care called them or sent something in the mail. the call was 4 min long he changed the topic ends up hanging up. that was the first time he would even acknowledge it. He wouldnt answer or return a call till wed (first on a monday). 

he starts in that call asking if I received  the health care stuff they sent. he had made no indication till 3 days before that he even read/knew I needed it and was vague when he fianlly did … all that was done was acknowledge health care.

Again it was a short call where one of us hung up. I have calls from the past 3 years of hell where hes thought I’ve hung up and brags to my mom about how pissed he got me before I hung up (but i had not). then as now and always he will insist he inst playing games. Ill try to address the layers of crazy there later though.  

I called back a few min later that same night and somewhere in the call he informs me he can take a picture of my health care card before they mail it to me.

remember i had been asking for the packet to fill out to renew and get the new card. Ie the US MAIL adressed to me that came to them. So now not only has he ignoreed me trying to be on top of an adult responsiblity and made it consume effort for months while in an empty apt he picked out in a town he picked, while destroying everything I own….So then the top shifts to how i need to find a new place because when the lease ends im not going to be allowed to stay here.

this is directly their fault. the landlord was not happy with me cleaning the car here. I have all the calls recordered where he was aware of this. aware I managed to stop the attempt to boot me from the garage and building and negotiated out of lease no prenatally guaranteed neural ref in writing. But This was while i still had the car that made gush blood from nose every time i entered. That car was actually ok untill riht before move in some how snow blew through the vents. on calling my dad he wouldnt address it but instead told me ” i came to the hotel to put stuff “(i hadent asked for) in my trunk that day. A day latter he offered to sell me the car for 5 dollars. then as it got bad (add moisture to 9 years of mold spores) im hearing things like “HA you think you could buy or sell a car?” , then “im picking what you drive cause im better at it”, followed by “only way we will transfer the title is if you pay for the insurance imedietely and on that car it would be outragous” ….wait you are better at picking the car ….for me… but….. and as fun as the engine is, its not wallet friendly. Since I started driving at 16 ive wanted a remote start. I was pretty sure I was going to end up in california, now im not sure when I can even aspire to have a list of things to aspire to do be have improve. 

 

 

oh but 6 months of trying to tell me he doesnt know what a txt is… last year when they picked this apt it was maybe the second one they looked at, with the first being literaly 3 blocks from an ex girlfriends parents house. When we first dated we were in jr high and parents had to drive us. I seriously doubt it was coinsidence or they didnt know, but then we were togeather for a few YEARS in college. I digress, i had been bogged down on the web server work, hadent had a break for ever but they pick the second place and with out telling me they put money down to hold it. While several times the moment they left the door my dads blowing up my phone saying “UOU HAVE TO DSIGN FOR IT APOTS GO QUICK” not only do i know from having picked out everyone before myself, but now as i need to be loooking and have been wiped out hes going 3 plus (at momment 5 days between answering ) on talking apts after learning marlene and paul wuethrich opened my mail and forged my signature on my mn care docs, we talk apts and he hangs up after 

“when you find one txt me and ill pay the depostit” 

with in 20 min its gone from 

6 months asserting he doesnt know what a txt is

not adressing the health care packet i needed forwared to saying he sent it but not when

telling me he has the health care cards (not possible with out having opened my mail and signed my name then sent it in) 

telling me he will take a pic before he sends the mail he told me earlier he fucking sent already. 

now if im to not be homeless i need to txt him when i find a fucking apt. 

that was like 4 days ago and he hasnt answered a call or txt since. while he was insisting more than once I need to email something he doesnt know what a txt is, the first time i emailed him it bounced back bad address/they changed their comcast email or deactivated it. Somehow despite the lease being my name and giving the company my email address, the address they temporarly deactivated ended up as my contact email for this current apt. Then im also geting letters saying your email is bouncing from them while my dads insisting the lie he doesnt know what a txt is email it, even when emails go through they wont acknowlege them or respond in past but company/independent actor is also leting me know the email they want me to use is not working after somehow allowing my parents to modify ….

iInfact when they picked this place i hadent wanted them to pick one at all. they will insist i didnt look as a game of lies they will tell in a circle, doesnt matter how many times i even send the pics of places i was looking at, they wont acknowlege them. but the whole time my dads saying I cant pick a place for you. then looks at two places and threatens to leave me homeless if i dont sign lease with in 3 days. I didnt know it till I got up there to sign, they had paid to hold it for a month. 

 

This whole year ive been saying things like “i need orginzational funriture, i have no where to put clean clothes, i dont have a kitchen so 1200 to 1500 is going to food that is killing me and i have to drive to get each time. I dont have a couch, you promised to replace it when you threw it, same with dresser.  I had a printer 4 desks. Ive said it even in terms of its hard for me to even seek employment in the min wage position you deman i get untill you think ive worked “ENOUGH” when i cant store clean clothes, having a printer is needed for many things and a place to store physical docs…. things that help keep time commitments /schedules and stuff like kitchen saves money and health. again all stuff ive had a lot of it wasnt given but bought with my hard earned money. all basic adulting type stuff. 

during the clean the car or lose everything phase they kept telling me I need to empty my storage garage its going away soon. they picked a tiny garage packed to celing and I was there 3x unoloading. At the time I objected to the size because i needed an inventory of assets. my dad then and contineues to play the why havent you goten a shop and its all on me for not following my plan or stringing me along thinking tis oing to happen… but i specificly said this is too small and idealy it would be climate controlled. at the time i was also being told id have another apt in a month cause he knew how massive and important the main project was. point is though what they got and threaten to get rid of 

  1. requires 2 people to safely get anything out of. im not exagerating its packed tot eh fucking celing. 
  2. THEY WONT GIVE ME THE FUCKING ADDRESS

but will use it to try to get work done or waht ever they want faster. I have 3 folding tables and a bed they picked out.

none of what im asking for just to get to basic functionality is something they would be buying me for the first time. most of it I bought or built myself over the time span since 2006 when i left their house for ndsu. as I moved out of my last place they flat out decided several things got thrown away promising to replace them. I’ve been a year now in this apt living like its the first week of moving in. aka what i do have is on the floor. 

the fakatka plan was for some reason as they decide to grace me with the stuff they continue to allow to rust and grow their mold, im suposed to clean their mold off whats left of my things on my time and my dime after 10 months with their fucking car of horrors. As shitty as that bio terrorism is I acted to the best of my ability, there is about $600 worth of shelving in the garage ready to go. When i made 2k for the web server work it went to a dehumidifier, professional mold and pest fogger, air mover floor dryer, one of 4 shelving units and a lot of $30 per gal mold control solution. The garage they picked was already covered in black mold on the back wall when i moved in. this is fucking anhorent behavior. they make life not worth it. 

Wjen they 9 or 10 mo of making me take apart that car in finaly take it  back and scrap it with the older sable still growing shit in the driveway (hmm was my idea about childrens maybe canning her a motivator?) I made the mistake of leaving the garage door opener and a power inverter among other things in that car. The level of what the fuck is astounding, cause while paying for a garage im suposed to clean my things in, for 4 months they kept the fucking remote, they still have it i supose. they were only giving enough to eat out every day. Could i have started buying a kitchen with that ? sure but several times if I’ve gone over for the car, i sit multiple days hungry, they will pull a huge number out of their aass and claim its what they give me every month. sometimes that number has been true but its never met the estimates they made me make for the car. and it usually starts with half then I go hungry and spend half a week to a week trying to get a hold of them and trying to trace every cent…. when i made the 2k they cut what they gave that month. THEY MAKE SURE I CANT ESCAPE THE ISSUES THEY CREATE.  they do so while asserting i havent worked at all or worked “enough” or they paid for everything so its all theirs, they continue to add to the “total theyve given me” while destroying what i earned and making it impracticle or limited options and time to seek any outside employment. While they subtly or directly remind me of what they are doing and that they can make it worse. worse yet nothing they actually give me is really in my name. 

cluster b parents espliclally high functioning ones and NPD or ASPD will be gerate at maintaing the image of the parent who “wants whats best” and “does whats right” when in reality they have trouble conceptualizing other individuals as such and are all about what they can get from a person and only about themselves. mine hit the nail on the head and tick the boxs repeatedly. “I do what I want when i want” yep and holding yourself to or even admiting a damn thing u said when its inconvientent isnt usually on that list. Sometimes a faux apology but most recently it was while giving me back a load of stuff they picked at random and liekly to cover the fact that included an air filter i ran in their basement pre remediation. regardless of intent, I had kept my cool that encounter and was mainly stressing “WHY AM I SUPPOSED TO KEEP SUFFERING AND SPENDING MY TIME ON YOUR PROBLEM YOU ALREADY PAID TO BE RID OF FOR YOURSELF?!” it was with raised voice but not even yelling. maybe 5 days later he refereed to it with 

“why should i even bring you stuff last time all you did was threaten and scream profanity” 

 

when this all started 3 years ago I happened to have a babby tooth that died maybe 20 years ago now but had remained weddgged holding the positions of my other teeth. well, it picked like dec of 2017 to fall the fuck out. i was told then dont wait more than 6 months, mn care doesnt really cover it till your jaw rots. This has been the other thing they use to keep this position of power. If i walk away from 16 years of things ive earned, the remains of bonnie and clyde, everything ive ever had be it given or earned from/by anyone…try to  start over from homeless shelter i likely end up rotting jaw, mold or some sort of fungus on scalp, possibly force medicated homeless in a town they picked starting over on destroyed credit… while they continue in their pro remeidated hellhole i mean house hold. 

they try to assert lies and games to the level that when i first moved in here, probably on the way up the first night I got a flat. I changed it the second night up here. Which was harder because my dad had removed the owners manual. I usually understand the concept there is something i might not account for on any new task. I had never had a flat. I googled it and quickly noted the point about new cars usually only have specific points where the full weight can be taken on jack…aka find the jack point, check the owners manual. I hadnt changed a flat before but I hadent done uv lithography before I just did it either lol. 

my dad insisted for 2 weeks i didnt leave the apt because i have no idea how to chanage a flat. in reality the car (from the snow he probably shoved in vents) was so bad at that point i was hardly leaving beause the nose bleed point per time entering car had started but i had infact changed the fucking tire the same day i noticed the flat. later on he would say he never said that… but then on getting the replacement car the owneres manual is again missing and he makes a point of “heres your owners manual several weeks later.

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not only did i not request this, mn care rep/database she was reading had no record of it requested on my account. there is a fax header and footer though….

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My emotions matter yours dont. 

Around my 30th birthday the mold was already confirmed. my mom was hiding and throwing away my stuff and others. I had maybe had 20 hrs social time in 5 years. while im working my ass off on the agreed plan with my dad hes sitting on my couch one day listing off all the fun social events he went to recently and how extravigent the neighbor boys weding was.

12 mo of me bleeding later im stuck with more gaslight than electric and still trying to work when he puts on me “how lonely he feels”

i said smoehting as kindly as i could along the lines if not exactly “dad its been literlay hyears since i had time for friends i was working my ass off to try to get caught up in lfife i cant be both trapped at your house for your misakes and your emotional support this is sick” 

so a month later on my 30th I get invited by 2 friends that own a house to come celebrate at their place. I hadnet seen them at all in 3 years it was the only invite ive had from anyone in years. Fucking jackass dad takes my keys citing “the snow is two dangrous” i lived alone or with one other roommate in fucking fargo nd for almost a decade and not once did i have issues with winter or summer driving. I’ve lost my liscense once for 4 months due to speeding tickets and thats it. 

to add to the insanity … a few hrs after taking my keys “wanna ride around with me? i like driving in the snow” 

then months later i remind him of this and he laughs like its the funniest thing hes ever heard. with out having time or ability to see friends ive now gone through the loss of cosmos cat, bonnie and clyde rabbit almost entirely alone in an apt or their house or a hotel. probably 7 years alone now bleeding filthy or fighting mold they paid to get rid of. and despite having email confirming that they will still ocasionally ask “what mold” or say im wasting my time chasing something that isnt real. 

 

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Subtle Competition

When the last apt wouldnt resign lease after i spent 8 mo bleeding , I fall back totheir house on losing lease/not resigning.

I had been fixing electronics/doing board level repairs, designing boards after teaching myself board cad , then coming up with a vacuum pull down uv lithography exposure box, implementing it and etch tank in plexi… aka learned the design consepts, learned the design software, made the tools to make the boards then made boards. along the way i fixed a new vac that failed in first 3 weeks.

I jammed their vac one day and needed to get some rest/was exausted. I told him “ill fix it tomorrow”. well it disapears. he took it apart , broke and or lost pieces. then a month later flat out says “its your fault i have to buy a new vacuum” 

I dont know if he knows how to weld or not but on moving my ass and Clyde up to st cloud to the place they picked…. I noticed northern tool had a 140a mig welder on clearance because v2 of their brand was about to drop. Ive wanted one for 10 years since I friend loaned me his flux core machine and I taught myself how to weld. I know a 140a mig unit usually starts at $450. I had watched prices fluctuate for 10 years inbetween and saw northern drop that one to $180 from $4xx while maybe no once in a lifetime I had never seen a unit this capable for anywhere near that price. 

I picked up a harbor freight $40 cart for it and leased a cylinder from a gas supplier. The apt they picked was busting into the garage and trying to find reasons to throw me out from the start. they took issue with the fact that I had the c25 cylindar just sitting there (i hadent set up the cart yet) they told me “it has to be chained to something to meet code”. 

my dad repeatedly would insist “if you use that welder they will throw you out of the apt” 

dad uve made sure for 3 years im cold, bleeding, runing around in 2 or 3 week sometimes month warn clothes. you continue to destroy everything i workded for while mocking the death of clyde and pretending to lose bonnies ashes. while u watch mom lie after lie tearing me down saying im going to be like uncle mike (frequently unemployed uncle whom from what ive seen is a decently hard worker despite what my parents will say behind his back) insisting ive never worked, nothing ive tried ever works, i have no idea what im doing and even that already employed in the industry friends have no idea only she knows whats right for me.then my dad will say it never happened. 

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yes yes, just what my bulitin board needed, likely endocrine disrupters so you can read my documents a bit easier. this guy had more than one review stating he was rummaging through/nosy while on the job… i cant see why /s
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holy shit my delusions are like 80x mag strong.
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inside wall, highschool bedroom at parents house
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Last apt before hell and before their house.
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An old apt from fargo days
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old apt, bathroom cupboard. the pic to the right is after lifting the floor tiles. this was directly across from the washer dryer stack. aka lay next to dying cosmos at parents drop my clothes inbetween vanity and washer dryer, only place it was found in apt
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Delusional would be not assuming that mr boris at riverside means Malord Duck when he puts MD before his name. (quack)
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Clyders was an incredible creature, as was Bonnie but when it came to fear though, if i was there nothing phased him. I miss you two.

bonnie rabbit chewing up an old box under an end table. magnificant kindness and intreguie in her eyes as she eyes me taking a photo.
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Charge Cables kept giving me “moisture detecetd unplug! alert” I watched more than one smoke 2 summers ago after pulling it from the port. I usually am too low bat to use flash when i try to plug in, eventually I was able to capture this. If only i could deulsionally will a billionairs bank statement to my address. According to two mgpd members my parents opening my mail and forging an endorsement on a check maild to me in my name is just fine cause it was to their address.

Imagine if someone made a mistake with their house. On visiting their house it spread to yours. Not knowing they offer to “save you ” and as you take the offer the source of the distruction is found to be mostly from them and decisions they made finishing their house. But between a 2 on one gaslighting campain and calling police first and often regardless of what did or did not transpire on any given event… 

this leaves them in control of everything you ever thought was yours, leaves you diagnosed with a psych disorder/makes medical help more time consuming and adds the mental question, if i enter volintarilly am I sure i can walk out again?, leaves the police telling u, tough shit.

then those people ensure you still have the infestation while violating you in almost every way possible and outright claiming to own you. 

this isnt so much the fault of the police as it is hella poorly written MN law. some officers have however made decisions that have added to the terror. In general i understand that if called you have to show up and thats not always great, esp where legislation lacks clear guidance. however the officer who forced the mental hold later tried to tell me “there is no specific legislation I used” then deflected with ” why do you shove your mom around?” I dont want to see anyone even lose their job, I also dont want to be hearing someone owns me and destroying all aspects of my health and life with or with out the periods of starvation. 

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John Wuethrich administrator

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